Tag Archive for 'Father’s Day'

A father’s tough love is the harder job

This is Jim’s traditional Father’s Day column.

As the father of an adult daughter and son, plus the grandfather of four knucklehead boys (Hurricane, Tornado, Crash and Train Wreck), I’ve learned some things about love.

All the hours logged as Dad and Poppy have often caused me to contemplate how different are the roles of mother and father, especially in the overt demonstration of parental love. It’s fascinating how the manifestation of this love differs between mother and father - biologically, emotionally and experientially.

A mother’s love, at once sweet and fierce, is observed in almost all animals, not just humans. No doubt you’ve heard this metaphor: “… as sweet as a mother’s love,” and this warning: “Don’t get between a momma bear and her cub.” I have been the recipient of this kind of love and have witnessed it, and there truly is no other force in nature like it.

A human father’s love, on the other hand, is more often associated with words that are unfortunate, like “tough” and “discipline.” Here’s a warning no one has ever heard: “Just wait ’till your mother gets home!” As a teenager, my dad once apologized to me when he thought his demonstration of tough love might seem “hard-boiled.” It did.

Consequently, it has troubled me that there are no corresponding sweet references to a father’s love. Could this be why Father’s Day is not quite as big a deal as Mother’s Day? Just saying …
Mothers occupy the pinnacle of parental love - with justification. And not to take anything away from them, but let’s be honest: Since a mother’s sweet love is as primal as the miracle of birth, they don’t have to work too hard to deliver it. But there is a uniqueness about a father’s love that deserves a better rap. Here are two reasons:

  • Unlike a mother’s sweet love, a father’s tough love does not exist outside of homo sapiens.
  • When a father’s parental toughness is required, especially when applied to an indignant recipient (read: teenager), it requires a love that has found the courage to endure a negative response and a willingness to defer gratification - sometimes for years.

No one is more keenly aware of the distinction between the application of these two demonstrations of love than a single parent (especially a single mom), where both kinds are required of the same person, perhaps within minutes.

Mothers, please forgive any paternal bias you may detect, but here is my conclusion about parental love: The only force in the universe that comes close to a mother’s sweet love is a father’s tough love. But the latter is the harder job, and the return on investment almost always takes longer.

Write this on a rock … Happy Father’s Day, Dads. You’ve earned it.

A father’s tough love is the harder job

As the father of an adult daughter and son, and the grandfather of four knucklehead boys (Hurricane, Tornado, Crash and Train Wreck), I’ve learned some things about love.

All the hours logged as Dad and Poppy have often caused me to contemplate how different are the roles of mother and father, especially in the overt demonstration of parental love. It’s fascinating how the manifestation of this love differs between mother and father—biologically, emotionally and experientially.

A mother’s love, at once sweet and fierce, is observed in almost all animals, not just humans. No doubt you’ve heard this metaphor: “… as sweet as a mother’s love,” and this warning: “Don’t get between a momma bear and her cub.” I have been a witness to, and recipient of both of these expressions of love, and there truly is no other force in nature like it.

But it troubles me that there are no corresponding references to a father’s love. In fact, a human father’s love is more often associated with unfortunate references such as, “tough” and “disciplinarian.” And here’s a warning no child has ever heard: “Just wait ’til your mother gets home!”

Could this be why Father’s Day is not quite as big a deal as Mother’s Day? Just sayin’ …

Mothers occupy the pinnacle of parental love – with justification. And not to take anything away from them, but let’s be honest: since a mother’s sweet love is as primal as the miracle of birth, they don’t have to work too hard to deliver it. But there is a uniqueness about a father’s love that deserves a better rap. Here why:

Unlike a mother’s sweet love, a father’s tough love does not exist outside of Homo sapiens.
When a father’s parental toughness is called for, especially when applied to an indignant recipient (read: teenager), it requires a love that has found the courage to at once endure an immediate negative response and a willingness to defer gratification – sometimes for years.
No one is more keenly aware of the distinction between the application of these two demonstrations of love than a single parent (especially single moms), where both kinds are required of the same person, perhaps within minutes.

Mothers, please forgive any bias you may detect, but here’s my conclusion about parental love: The only force in the universe that comes close to a mother’s sweet love is a father’s tough love. But the latter is the harder job, and the return on investment almost always takes longer.

Write this on a rock … Happy Father’s Day, Dads. You’ve earned it.

A father’s tough love is the harder job

This is Jim’s traditional Father’s Day column.

As the father of an adult daughter and son, plus the grandfather of four knucklehead boys (Hurricane, Tornado, Crash and Train Wreck), I’ve learned some things about love.

All the hours logged as Dad and Poppy have often caused me to contemplate how different are the roles of mother and father, especially in the overt demonstration of parental love.  It’s fascinating how the manifestation of this love differs between mother and father-biologically, emotionally and experientially.

A mother’s love, at once sweet and fierce, is observed in almost all animals, not just humans. No doubt you’ve heard this metaphor: “… as sweet as a mother’s love,” and this warning: “Don’t get between a momma bear and her cub.” I have been a witness to, and the recipient of this kind of love, and there truly is no other force in nature like it.

But it troubles me that there are no corresponding sweet references to a father’s love. In fact, a human father’s love is more often associated with unfortunate references such as, “tough” and “discipline.” And here’s a warning no one has ever heard: “Just wait ’till your mother gets home!”

Could this be why Father’s Day is not quite as big a deal as Mother’s Day? I’m just saying …

Mothers occupy the pinnacle of parental love-with justification. And not to take anything away from them, but let’s be honest: since a mother’s sweet love is as primal as the miracle of birth, they don’t have to work too hard to deliver it. But there is a uniqueness about a father’s love that deserves a better rap. Here why:

Unlike a mother’s sweet love, a father’s tough love does not exist outside of homo sapiens.

When a father’s parental toughness is required, especially when applied to an indignant recipient (read: teenager), it requires a love that has found the courage to endure a negative response and a willingness to defer gratification-sometimes for years.

No one is more keenly aware of the distinction between the application of these two demonstrations of love than a single parent (especially a single mom), where both kinds are required of the same person, perhaps within minutes.

Mothers, please forgive any paternal bias you may detect, but here is my conclusion about parental love: The only force in the universe that comes close to a mother’s sweet love is a father’s tough love. But the latter is the harder job, and the return on investment almost always takes longer.

Write this on a rock … Happy Father’s Day, Dads. You’ve earned it.

Remembering Dad

If you’ll indulge me for a few minutes, I would like to tell you about my Dad, and how he influenced my life.

My first memory of my Dad was when he took me to a baby sitter on his way to work. I must have been less than four, but I remember crying as I ran after his car, screaming, “Daddy, don’t leave me.”

My Dad never went to college, but he was one of the smartest men I knew. He wasn’t a philosopher, but much of what I’ve learned about life, especially about what’s important in life, I learned from him.

Dad grew up in rural America during the Great Depression as, and this is his word, a “sharecropper.” Things were pretty tough for his family, as it was for most families during that time.

It’s been said that we’re either a product of our raising or a reaction to our raising. My Dad chose to be a product of his raising, which made him the person who was loved by so many.

Dad never thought of himself as brave, but when the world needed him during World War II, he answered that call, as millions of his generation did. Serving in both the European and Pacific theaters, once going three years without a furlough, along with all the others of his generation, my Dad helped save the world.

Dad worked hard all his life. I watched him work in a steel mill and on the railroad. I saw him work nights at a gas station, pumping gas to make ends meet, after he got off work at the steel mill. I’m not sure he actually knew how important it was for me to see him do those things.

For many years I worked with my Dad on our farm. Me working on that farm was his idea, but it was good for me.

Dad made sure we got the best medical treatment money could buy, even when he didn’t know where the money would come from.

Dad took me to church. He taught me that there were going to be all kinds of people in heaven, not just our kind, and he let me make my own decision about my personal faith.

Dad showed me that Moms & Dads could fight and get mad at each other, but that the family is more important than whatever the argument was about.

There were times when my Dad said, “We can’t afford it.” It must have hurt to say those words, but they were important words for me to hear. I was never cold or hungry or deprived. I may have thought I was, but I never was.

Without actually saying it, Dad taught me that if you can’t be happy without money and stuff, you won’t be happy with money and stuff. Love for family and friends, respect for others and self-respect cost nothing, but they are more enduring than all the material things in the world. I learned that from my Dad.

Dad let me see him make mistakes. Everyone makes them, but he shared his mistakes with me so I would make my own mistakes, not his. It took a lot of love and wisdom to do that.

My Dad let me know, sometimes without saying it, that he loved me enough to protect me with his life. I’m grateful that in the last year of his life, Dad and I said, “I love you” to each other, every day.

If someone asked me to describe my Dad in one short sentence, I would say, “My Dad was a good human being.”

In the last year of his life I learned just how strong my Dad’s spirit was and just what a good human being he was. Even when he was often in great pain, and with all the indignity that comes with living in a nursing home, my Dad never lost his sense of humor, his famous wit, or his respect and love for others, right up to his last moment of life.

If class is grace under pressure, my Dad set a new standard for class. And that’s a bar I fear I will never reach.

Happy Father’s Day, dads. More than you may know, you make a difference.

Check out more of Jim’s great content HERE!

Take this week’s poll HERE!

Watch Jim’s videos HERE!

A father’s tough love is the harder job

As the father of an adult daughter and son, plus the grandfather of four knucklehead boys, I’ve learned some things about love.

All the hours logged as Dad and Poppy have often caused me to contemplate how different are the roles of mother and father, especially in the overt demonstration of parental love. It’s fascinating how the manifestation of this love differs between mother and father – biologically, emotionally and experientially.

A mother’s love, at once sweet and fierce, is observed in almost all animals, not just humans. No doubt you’ve heard this metaphor: “… as sweet as a mother’s love,” and this warning: “Don’t get between a momma bear and her cub.” I have been the recipient of this kind of love and have witnessed it, and there truly is no other force in nature like it.

But it troubles me that there are no corresponding sweet references to a father’s love. In fact, a human father’s love is more often associated with unfortunate references such as, “tough” and “discipline.” And here’s a warning no one has ever heard: “Just wait ‘till your mother gets home!”

Could this be why Father’s Day is not quite as big a deal as Mother’s Day? I’m just saying …

Mothers occupy the pinnacle of parental love – with justification. And not to take anything away from them, but let’s be honest: since a mother’s sweet love is as primal as the miracle of birth, they don’t have to work too hard to deliver it. But there is a uniqueness about a father’s love that deserves a better rap. Here why:

  • Unlike a mother’s sweet love, a father’s tough love does not exist outside of homo sapiens.
  • When a father’s parental toughness is required, especially when applied to an indignant recipient (read: teenager), it requires a love that has found the courage to endure a negative response and a willingness to defer gratification – sometimes for years.

No one is more keenly aware of the distinction between the application of these two demonstrations of love than a single parent (especially a single mom), where both kinds are required of the same person, perhaps within minutes.

Mothers, please forgive any paternal bias you may detect, but here is my conclusion about parental love: The only force in the universe that comes close to a mother’s sweet love is a father’s tough love. But the latter is the harder job, and the return on investment almost always takes longer.

Happy Father’s Day, Dads. You’ve earned it.

Check out more of Jim’s great content HERE!

Take this week’s poll HERE!

Watch Jim’s videos HERE!

A father’s tough love is the harder job

As the father of an adult daughter and son, plus the grandfather of four knucklehead boys, I’ve learned some things about love.

All the hours logged as Dad and Poppy have often caused me to contemplate how different are the roles of mother and father, especially in the overt demonstration of parental love. It’s fascinating how the manifestation of this love differs between mother and father – biologically, emotionally and experientially.

A mother’s love, at once sweet and fierce, is observed in almost all animals, not just humans. No doubt you’ve heard this metaphor: “… as sweet as a mother’s love,” and this warning: “Don’t get between a momma bear and her cub.”

I have been the recipient of this kind of love and have witnessed it, and there truly is no other force in nature like it. But it has troubled me that there are no corresponding references for a father’s love. Could this be why Father’s Day is not quite as big a deal as Mother’s Day? I’m just saying …

A human father’s love is more often associated with words that are unfortunate, like “tough” and “discipline.” As a teenager, my own father once apologized to me when he thought his demonstration of love might seem “hard-boiled.”

Mothers occupy the pinnacle of parental love – with justification. And not to take anything away from them, but since a mother’s sweet love is as primal as the miracle of birth, they don’t have to work too hard to deliver it. But there’s a uniqueness about a father’s love that deserves a better rap. Here are two reasons:

  • Unlike a mother’s sweet love, a father’s tough love does not exist outside of homo sapiens.
  • When a father’s parental toughness is required, especially when applied to an indignant recipient (read: teenager), it requires a love that has found the courage to endure a negative response and a willingness to defer gratification – sometimes for years.

No one is more keenly aware of the distinction between these two demonstrations of love than a single parent, where both kinds are required of the same person, perhaps within minutes.

Mothers, please forgive any paternal bias you may detect, but here is my conclusion about parental love: The only force in the universe that comes close to a mother’s sweet love is a father’s tough love. But the latter is the harder job, and the return on investment almost always takes longer.

Happy Father’s Day, Dads. You’ve earned it.

Check out more great SBA content HERE!

Take this week’s poll HERE!




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