Warning: Obnoxious grandparent alert!
Whenever people used to go on and on and on about their special love for their grandchildren I was confused, because I couldn’t imagine anything greater than the love I had for my children. Now, having logged 9 years as a grandparent, I’ve come up with a way to explain this feeling:
Having grandchildren is like finding a new kind of candy. Nothing wrong with the other candy; this is just different candy.
Recently, my son and his wife had their second son, Ethan, who joins his 3 year-old brother, Daniel, in the world. These two, plus the two belonging to my daughter, Jacob and Aaron, make four grandsons. That’s right; four boys and no girls.
Make no mistake: We love our boys to a ridiculous level of obnoxiousness. Still, the pent-up demand for pink among the women-folk in this family is palpable.
My boys are so much fun. Poppy gets to take them fishing and hiking and teach them how to do other stuff that only guys think is fun (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). But I would be less than candid if I didn’t admit that I, too, would like to have a granddaughter. There is just something sweeter than candy about getting your neck hugged by a little girl.
My grandsons are affectionate, mind you. But when a little boy demonstrates his affection, it’s a lot like a mugging or being attacked by a ninja - and you’re just hoping for a glancing blow. I call it “drive-by love.”
Boys and girls sure are different. Not long ago, we had a meal with my older boys, where I was heard to say, “Aaron, don’t eat the mashed potatoes with your fingers.” And “Jacob, cut your meat; don’t bite it off.” Soon after, we visited with in-laws who have little girls about the same age as the two knuckleheads I had so recently admonished. During the meal at that gathering the two girls sat prim and proper at the table. But this time the little one admonished me with, “Uncle Jim; elbows off the table, please.” Viva la difference.
When I talk to my daughter about wanting a granddaughter, she sternly tells me to look elsewhere. And with Ethan having just arrived, do you think it’s a little early to put in my order for another try at a little girl? I’m thinking the prudent play would be to wait a few months.
At least with four grandsons I’m close to a basketball team. Plus, I now know who four of my pall bearers will be. You know me: always thinking practically.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Jim,
You are so right! Just spent last with my candy fix. Little Mia is only 19 months and smart as a whip. She’s going to be what I would call a “wild child,” strong willed and very independent. Doesn’t even look behind her to see if a grown-up is following when she runs off in the direction of what she wants.
Just starting to talk in real sentences. Seeing a counter full of cookies and fruit she stuck her little finger out and said one of her first, “I want that!”
Says it all - she knows what she wants!
Thanks for creating an opportunity to talk about grandchildren. I only have one and maybe maybe maybe if this one doesn’t wear them out, they’ll be others!
Many blessings my friend,
JoAnna
November 10th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Jim: loved your blog post… my wife and i got married in college and started having kids a few years later…we were so young we were still finding ourselves, let alone knowing how to be good parents… now we have 2 grandkids… and you are right - it is a whole new type of candy! i understand your desire for a girl, we have one of each … still 4 grandkids is an embarrassment of riches and you are very lucky!! warm regards, jim
November 4th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Jim.
I do not have any grandkids yet, my daughter and her dumber than a bucket of rocks husband have decided to wait, which is a good thing. I know they know how, the timing just isn’t right, I am looking forward to the day they do decide to have kids. Until then I have two grandcats and one granddog. The cats I have met, one is like my son in law and the other is uncordinated, which is strange for a cat, but I really love him. The dog is from the pound and I am looking forward to meeting him soon.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Jim, my granddaughter is all girl with a bit of that boy in her. At only 4 1/2 years old she’s a charmer, even when she’s playing with her favorite play animals dinosaurs. She does have a couple of dolls but the dinosaurs are her favorite. And she knows way more about them than I do.
Thanks for a wonderful article!
September 30th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Jim, your musings remind me of a friend who wore a t-shirt with this statement to choir practice one Thursday night: “If I’d known grandchildren were so great, I’d of had them first!” Eat your heart out: we have two grandsons and two granddaughters! We MIGHT consider sharing from time to time….
September 18th, 2009 at 8:13 am
They’re so lucky to have YOU, Jim!
August 16th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
You are so right about those grandchildren being like candy! They are sweet and you just can’t get enough. I have two granddaughters and one grandson. There are some obvious differences between them because of their gender but also just because of their personalities. Someone once said “Being a grandparent is your reward for getting older.” It sure is an awesome gift.
August 16th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
well Jim,
what a heart felt article that is!
being Nana myself, I have 4 grandson and 3 grand daugthers.
boys can be heartwarming and caring and yes sometimes it is like drive by love.
the girls have their own personalities and yes, the cuddles are a little longuer.
the good news about having your pall bearers is that you will need to live longuer so
that they can be strong enough to do the job. so, you got time to play basketball.
I realy love your spirit and your newsletter.
carry on, keep well, Lisette