Archive for the 'Inspirational and Motivational' Category

Remembering Dad

If you’ll indulge me for a few minutes, I would like to tell you about my Dad, and how he influenced my life.

My first memory of my Dad was when he took me to a baby sitter on his way to work. I must have been less than four, but I remember crying as I ran after his car, screaming, “Daddy, don’t leave me.”

My Dad never went to college, but he was one of the smartest men I knew. He wasn’t a philosopher, but much of what I’ve learned about life, especially about what’s important in life, I learned from him.

Dad grew up in rural America during the Great Depression as, and this is his word, a “sharecropper.” Things were pretty tough for his family, as it was for most families during that time.

It’s been said that we’re either a product of our raising or a reaction to our raising. My Dad chose to be a product of his raising, which made him the person who was loved by so many.

Dad never thought of himself as brave, but when the world needed him during World War II, he answered that call, as millions of his generation did. Serving in both the European and Pacific theaters, once going three years without a furlough, along with all the others of his generation, my Dad helped save the world.

Dad worked hard all his life. I watched him work in a steel mill and on the railroad. I saw him work nights at a gas station, pumping gas to make ends meet, after he got off work at the steel mill. I’m not sure he actually knew how important it was for me to see him do those things.

For many years I worked with my Dad on our farm. Me working on that farm was his idea, but it was good for me.

Dad made sure we got the best medical treatment money could buy, even when he didn’t know where the money would come from.

Dad took me to church. He taught me that there were going to be all kinds of people in heaven, not just our kind, and he let me make my own decision about my personal faith.

Dad showed me that Moms & Dads could fight and get mad at each other, but that the family is more important than whatever the argument was about.

There were times when my Dad said, “We can’t afford it.” It must have hurt to say those words, but they were important words for me to hear. I was never cold or hungry or deprived. I may have thought I was, but I never was.

Without actually saying it, Dad taught me that if you can’t be happy without money and stuff, you won’t be happy with money and stuff. Love for family and friends, respect for others and self-respect cost nothing, but they are more enduring than all the material things in the world. I learned that from my Dad.

Dad let me see him make mistakes. Everyone makes them, but he shared his mistakes with me so I would make my own mistakes, not his. It took a lot of love and wisdom to do that.

My Dad let me know, sometimes without saying it, that he loved me enough to protect me with his life. I’m grateful that in the last year of his life, Dad and I said, “I love you” to each other, every day.

If someone asked me to describe my Dad in one short sentence, I would say, “My Dad was a good human being.”

In the last year of his life I learned just how strong my Dad’s spirit was and just what a good human being he was. Even when he was often in great pain, and with all the indignity that comes with living in a nursing home, my Dad never lost his sense of humor, his famous wit, or his respect and love for others, right up to his last moment of life.

If class is grace under pressure, my Dad set a new standard for class. And that’s a bar I fear I will never reach.

Happy Father’s Day, dads. More than you may know, you make a difference.

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A father’s tough love is the harder job

As the father of an adult daughter and son, plus the grandfather of four knucklehead boys, I’ve learned some things about love.

All the hours logged as Dad and Poppy have often caused me to contemplate how different are the roles of mother and father, especially in the overt demonstration of parental love. It’s fascinating how the manifestation of this love differs between mother and father – biologically, emotionally and experientially.

A mother’s love, at once sweet and fierce, is observed in almost all animals, not just humans. No doubt you’ve heard this metaphor: “… as sweet as a mother’s love,” and this warning: “Don’t get between a momma bear and her cub.” I have been the recipient of this kind of love and have witnessed it, and there truly is no other force in nature like it.

But it troubles me that there are no corresponding sweet references to a father’s love. In fact, a human father’s love is more often associated with unfortunate references such as, “tough” and “discipline.” And here’s a warning no one has ever heard: “Just wait ‘till your mother gets home!”

Could this be why Father’s Day is not quite as big a deal as Mother’s Day? I’m just saying …

Mothers occupy the pinnacle of parental love – with justification. And not to take anything away from them, but let’s be honest: since a mother’s sweet love is as primal as the miracle of birth, they don’t have to work too hard to deliver it. But there is a uniqueness about a father’s love that deserves a better rap. Here why:

  • Unlike a mother’s sweet love, a father’s tough love does not exist outside of homo sapiens.
  • When a father’s parental toughness is required, especially when applied to an indignant recipient (read: teenager), it requires a love that has found the courage to endure a negative response and a willingness to defer gratification – sometimes for years.

No one is more keenly aware of the distinction between the application of these two demonstrations of love than a single parent (especially a single mom), where both kinds are required of the same person, perhaps within minutes.

Mothers, please forgive any paternal bias you may detect, but here is my conclusion about parental love: The only force in the universe that comes close to a mother’s sweet love is a father’s tough love. But the latter is the harder job, and the return on investment almost always takes longer.

Happy Father’s Day, Dads. You’ve earned it.

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Freedom isn’t free

Contemplating the blessing of freedom, wherever it may be found, one prime truth is evident: Freedom is not free. And for those of us who are the beneficiaries of those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom, the only method of repayment - the only way we can ever be worthy of their sacrifice - is if we do all we can to maintain the freedom that has been paid for and given to us.

This is the 11th year I’ve published the poem below on Memorial Day. It was written by Commander Kelly Strong, USCG (Ret.) in 1981 when he was a high school senior (JROTC cadet) at Homestead High School, Homestead, FL. It is a tribute to his father, a career marine who served two tours in Vietnam.

Freedom Isn’t Free

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
And then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He’d stand out in any crowd.
I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers’ tears?
How many pilots’ planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers’ graves?
No, freedom isn’t free.

I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant “Amen,”
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn’t free.

My friends, I pray that we never forget those who paid so dearly for our freedom. Have a safe, happy and respectful Memorial Day.

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Remember America’s militia on Memorial Day

Reasonable people disagree on the origins of Memorial Day. But most accept that the practice of decorating graves of Americans who died in military service began in earnest during the Civil War.

On May 5, 1868, General John A. Logan, Commander of the Army of the Republic, made Memorial Day official with General Order No. 11, which stated in part, “… the 30th day of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country …” And other than Congress making Memorial Day a national holiday on the last Monday in May, America has since honored its fallen heroes from all conflicts pretty much as General Logan ordered.

When America issued its first call to arms – before it had a professional army – that call went to the militia, which was identified as “all able-bodied men.” Called “Minutemen,” because they could be ready to fight on a minute’s notice, they were primarily shopkeepers, craftsmen, farmers, etc. Today, we call them small business owners.

From as far away as Scotland, America’s Minutemen were impressive. Writing about the colonies’ quest for independence in “The Wealth of Nations,” Adam Smith predicted America would prevail thanks to its militia which, “…turns from its primary citizen character into a standing army.”

Early in the 20th century, state militias became the National Guard and the National Defense Act created the Reserves. In every war or conflict since, America has deployed National Guard and Reserves alongside regular forces, where they represented a proportional number of casualties.

On this Memorial Day, as we honor all who paid the ultimate price in service to this country, let’s also remember the long tradition of America’s militia, including small business owners and employees, who served honorably and courageously on behalf of a grateful nation. It’s hard enough leaving family to march into harm’s way. But the degree of difficulty of that commitment is compounded for volunteers who also disconnect from businesses and full-time careers.

Contemplating the blessing of freedom wherever it may be found, there is one prime truth: Freedom is not free. As beneficiaries of those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom, our only method of repayment — the only way we can ever be worthy of their sacrifice — is if we do all we can to maintain the freedom that they paid for and gave to us.

God bless those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom.

Listen to my latest segments on The Small Business Advocate Show about Memorial Day. Click on the link below to download or listen.

Memorial Day Show Archive

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SBA Poll- Is there a vacation in your future?

The Question:
Will you be able to take time off from your business for vacation this summer?

43% - Yes, for at least a week

49% - Yes, but only a couple of days at a time

9% - No. Can’t afford the expense or the time away

My Comments:
Here’s an old small business joke:

A small business owner is talking with an acquaintance and is asked, “How’s it going?” To which the business owner says, “Things are getting better; I’m down to working half days.” When the friend congratulates him, obviously impressed, the small business owner says, “Yes, it’s great; I even get to choose which 12 hours.”

As you can see from our poll last week, 91% of our respondents expect to take some time off for a vacation this summer, with the rest admitting they “… can’t afford the expense or time.” Regardless of whether you’re talking about vacation or just an occasional day off, any time a small business owner gets away from the business is a well-earned and richly deserved.

Hope you get to get away this year. Good luck.

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Video-Do you prefer achievement or success?

In this week’s video I list Dr. Gene Griessman’s 5 common characteristics of high achievement and explain the details of each.

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